This is my childhood testimony on how God helped me pass my UPSR exams without even studying properly and during the process experience what it's like having real friends. Today, I felt love and passion for some reason, and it made me remember all the good things that Jesus did for me, even when I didn't realize it was Him. To be honest, I wasn't the smartest kid, not because I didn't want to study, but because I lacked encouragement back then. From Primary 1 to 3, I was bullied at at a Chinese primary school in St. James, Likas because of being quiet, not only by other kids but also by the teachers there. They made assumption that I was handicapped just because I refused to speak, but in reality, I was just very shy.
Sometimes, I would cry alone during recess, feeling ashamed to let others see my tears, pretending as if nothing had happened. There's times when I was minding my own business in class, kids would tell the teachers that I smelled bad, and they even made up a story about me pooping in my bag. The teacher then came to me and searched my bag to see if it was true and find nothing. I didn't have any real friends at St. James or even back when I was in kindergarten. I literally had no friends at all. My parents also didn't understand my situation back then, and they believed the teachers when they said I was a problematic child during Report Card Day. Eventually, I found the strength to ask my mom to move me to another school, although I felt ashamed to tell her the real reasons why.
She agreed, thinking it would be best for me. Then my brother told me that one of the teachers was glad that I had finally moved. Hearing that broke my heart, and I kept wondering, "What did I ever do to them?" Instead of staying there and enduring mental and sometimes mild physical torment, it was better for me to be the one who moved. I was transferred to SK St. Francis Convent, and from that point on, I had the best year of my life. My parents noticed a change in me, I was happier and more cheerful. The best part was I made friends there, and I thought to myself, "I finally have real friends."
Although my life wasn't perfect, I still experienced bullying. However, the bullies at my new school weren't as terrible as the ones at St. James. It was more manageable, and I had friends who brought me happiness. I felt that it was all part of God's plan. Maybe He saw how depressed and sad I was, so He gave me a school where I could cope and friends as a reward for enduring the suffering at my previous school. Honestly, I feel like crying now, even though I'm in a public area. Haha. Then, when I reached Primary 6, stress started because of the upcoming UPSR exams. It was strange because during the exam, they arranged the tables in such a way that I was the only one seated at the back. Maybe I felt like the teacher didn't trust me and thought I might cheat. However, I chose to think positively.
Anyway, during the exams, I was extremely nervous. Oh I forgot to mention, I did attend a tuition. It wasn't my parents who arranged the tuition for me, but rather a teacher who approached me and offered to teach me. It was a new experience for me because the teachers at my old school had always given up on me and didn't seem to care if I failed. Even my parents started losing hope in me and focused more on my brother. Interestingly, I am grateful for the Muslim teacher who care enough to teach me.
Despite receiving tuition, I still thought I might fail because I consistently got low marks on my tests. It was quite embarrassing, to be honest. Then, during the exams, I was filled with fear, believing that I would likely fail. I hadn't done any revision on my own, only relying on what I learned during the tuition. Out of nowhere, while sitting alone at the back during the UPSR exams, I found myself praying, almost unconsciously. I prayed secretly because I was embarrassed if people saw me. I prayed strongly, hoping to pass my exams. Months went by, and the time came to receive my UPSR results.
I didn't want to go, so my mom went without me to collect it. I also didn't want to know what my result was because deep down, I was confident that I had failed. From a distance near my room, I overheard my parents at home, holding my result and expressing disbelief. My dad said, "I'm surprised she didn't fail." I was shocked when I heard them say that, so I went to look at the results myself. I couldn't believe it—I was surprised by how I managed to pass. I had thought that maybe I had only passed a few subjects, but it turned out that I passed all of them. I was still grateful to see grades that I had never achieved before, but at that time, I didn't fully recognize God's hand in it. I thought it was just pure luck. However, now I understand that it was all from God.
So every day, I am thankful to Him and dedicated my life to Him. May God bless all my brothers and sisters! This is my genuine testimony that He is always with us, guiding us, even when we are unaware of it.